_{So what's the most embarrassing thing you can do as a Toastmaster?
Blank out, in mid-sentence? Blurt out a four-letter word? Discover you
have spinach between your teeth? Leave your fly open? No, the most
embarrassing thing you can do as a beginning Toastmaster, or even as an
experienced one, is to mistake a lectern for a podium.}

_{I suppose it would be a good idea to explain the difference between the two,
since mistaking them is supposed to be a Bad Thing. A lectern is "a reading
stand for a public speaker." A podium is "an elevated platform for an
orchestra conductor, lecturer, etc." (The definitions are from the American
Heritage dictionary.)}

_{Speakers confuse lecterns and podia all the time, with appalling results. I
remember one speaker who thought a podium was a lectern. She placed her
notes on the podium and had to squat down every time she flipped a page.
When looking down, she had to noticeably squint to read her notes. (I'm
sure her high heels didn't help) She accidentally stepped on her notes too.}

_{I also remember the time a rather bulky male Toastmaster mistook a lectern
for a podium. When he stood on the lectern, it collapsed. So did the table it
was set upon. The Toastmaster took a trip to the emergency room (to treat
his concussion) and never gave a speech again.}

_{Admittedly, these were extreme cases, but even the garden variety "It feels
great to be behind the podium" causes embarrassment. Without fail, an oldschool
Toastmaster will be around, and will bark out "It's not a podium, it's
a lectern." (Toastmasters really are a supportive bunch, and heckling is
NOT encouraged, but for some reason, calling a podium a lectern prompts
this knee-jerk reaction from the old-schoolers.) Then everybody rolls their
eyes and looks uncomfortable. You see this, and suddenly you start to worry
about spinach in your teeth, your fly, and the like.}

_{So avoid it! A good idea is in all cases to say "lectern." Forget the
word "podium" ever existed. This works because just about every
Toastmasters club has a lectern, and virtually none have a podium.
Another approach is to immediately correct yourself:
--"I'm not used to being at the podium especially since this is a lectern.”
--"Don't grip the podium or this lectern, either."
--"I'm feeling more comfortable behind the podium in an alternative
Universe."}

_{Finally, for you advanced speakers, don't use a lectern when you speak!
Not only will you not be tempted to talk about the darn thing, you will
connect better with your audience.
Just don't call a lectern a podium, unless you're trying to distract
your audience from the spinach caught in your teeth.}